Monthly Archives: November 2007

Weaknesses

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So I’ve decided to share with all of you one of my deepest and most embarrassing weaknesses today.  This is something that has brought me much frustration and shame over the years and is something that can be hard for me to talk about.  This is something that most people have no problems with at all and I very frequently feel alone and isolated with this problem that I have.  So here goes.

I HAVE SERIOUS DIFFICULTY USING MAJOR APPLIANCES.

There, I’ve said it.  It’s really hard for me because i’ve a very intelligent person.  I passed AP physics in high school (I mention that because its pretty much the geekiest thing I can think of).  I can code basic HTML.  I can whip up a lean, mean Excel spreadsheet that will automate the socks off your budget.  I can reprogram cellular phones to do tricks and sit up and beg.  But god help me if I need to re-heat a bowl of soup in the microwave.

Back in the day, ovens and microwaves and all of these great, mighty appliances, were simple affairs with a knob.  For example, I need to re-heat ANYTHING in the microwave back in the day I could just turn the knob to that golden spot in-between the two and three minute marks and voila! I’ve just reheated pizza, or cooked a frozen turkey.  It always just worked right there.  But now, its like I need a PhD in Button Pushing-ology to be able to do anything.  I’m reduced to pressing that one button that makes it turn on for 30 seconds at a time and testing whatever inside for the right done-ness.

Let us also not forget the disaster that inevitably happens each time I try using one of these new ovens with the push buttons.  Because apparently I’m not intelligent enough to decipher the difference between “Cook Timer” and “Timer Cook”.  Every time I try to use the oven at a friend’s house or wherever these new ovens live I end up making the damned thing very cross with me.  The range starts beeping at me in a degrading manner, insisting I get someone over to help me out before i accidentally launch nuclear arms at an unsuspecting country.

I’m all about the super-modern kitchen.  I love gadgets and stainless steel everything and enough watts and btus of energy to incinerate small planets.  But for whatever reason, I’m reduced to the IQ of Malibu Barbie whenever I’m left alone with any sort of modern kitchen installation.  I figure that its a very subtle hint from the universe that I should eat out.  One day, I will master the major appliance, I will be able to microwave soup and eat it too.  And when that day comes, there will be no stopping me… from making soup and sandwiches.

NaBloPoMo

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I’m a day late to the table, but better late than never.  Its National Blog Post Month and I’m here to post.  There is much to share and talk about from this week.  I’ve moved and am writing to you from the new headquarters of crazy central.  My apartment looks like a small bomb went off with all the usual accouterments of a move.

This was the first major move I’ve made.  I have moved a total of two times before this.  Both times I was able to shove my entire life in to the confines of the Tragically Gay Kia and move them in one fell swoop.  This time I was constrained to Quincy, the little car that could, which has all the storage capacity equivalent of an eight year old child’s short term memory with ADHD.  I was also faced with the significant accumulation of crap and stuff and fluff and shit over the course of two years.  Without some very beloved friends of mine, this venture would have ended in tears and misery.

This weeks accomplishments include the following great and not so great harrowing and not so harrowing items:

  • Transferring my Comcast service (never, not ever, ever again, EVER!)
  • Moving down from a second floor apartment and up to a third floor apartment
  • Tearing space-time itself to get my couch into said third floor apartment  (thanks to fantastic friends to whom I owe my life)
  • Successfully procrastinated making any progress on unpacking
  • Completely avoided buying Mac OS X.5 Leopard

I’m pretty impressed my this.  I’d say, all in all, i’ve been a very successful human being this week.  Which is why I will most likely accomplish nothing this weekend.  I suppose I’m not required to channel Martha Stewart at all times, I just wish though that I were more successful at prodding myself to action when it comes to cleaning up.

This concludes probably the most random post I’ve made.  But I made it!  Sometimes some chaotic creativity its what’s needed to kick a project like this into gear.  I want to get active on here again and this month I’m going to make it.