I don’t date much. By “much” I mean “unless the European Union Commission of Dating and Quasi-dating Related Activities lumbers in the direction of passing a resolution on the matter”. The reasons behind this are twofold, possibly. The first reason being that I’m really shy and intimidated by the thought of asking someone else out. Yes, I am completely chicken-shit when it comes to this prospect. The second reason is that I don’t get asked, which could stem from any number of complex reasons we may or may not talk about that at some future time.
Contrary to this trend, I was asked recently to “hang out”, the modern non-date date sort of affair with someone I found very suitable. We hung out a number of times and it was very low-key and very nice to have the chance to get to know someone new with the possible lingering prospect for romance… They put the moves on me to get things started. They subsequently and abruptly terminated it.
Some reasons were given but it didn’t change the fact that it was over and that it sucked. Its been a long time since I’ve opened up to someone. It generally leads to getting hurt. In fact, to the analysts of the glass half-empty persuasion, it will always lead to hurt and pain of some sort. Even in a steady, committed relationship there will be moments where that openness will leave us vulnerable to intentional/accidental injury. But to the glass half-full people it means that at some point, or even multiple points, we will have the opportunity for greater happiness and fulfillment.
Now I’m not one of those annoyingly chipper sort of people, always happy to gloss over the negative aspects of this life, but I am an idealistic pragmatist. I understand that there will be heartache, it’s a fact of life. But there are very direct, observable, proven cases where people are happier as a result of this risk or openness. Some people may claim to be closed to the idea of opening their hearts again, when actually they do it all the time. They will make friends, either with people, or the 1900 cats they will adopt when they shun all human contact. That small emotional bond we create with people, places or things is a point of potential weakness However, even in its most basic form, it is first and foremost a source of fulfillment, happiness, or security.
Sometimes people panic and reach for the fire alarm when things are going great. They do it on both in-valid and valid grounds. They do it for selfish and selfless reasons. Bust mostly, I think people just get scared when standing in the realm of dating, mating and love. Everyone has done this, or had it done to them at some point, I’ve been guilty of it myself in the past. The important take-home message is that we have to get out there and try. We have to get up and try again because its worth it at some point, be that the final destination or at stops in-between. Besides, feeding 1900 cats is expensive enough, let alone the cat litter.