I went to the wedding of a very good friend of mine this evening. She married her girlfriend of several years and it was so fun to be there and support them. This is the second wedding I have attended this year and the second I’ve ever been to, ever. It’s an interesting experience, seeing how people choose to mark the event of committing themselves to one another. Even more interesting to me however, are the people who show up to these events.
Having been raised LDS my schema of weddings was considerably different from what I have experienced this year. The first marriage I attended was that of one of my closest friends, Ali. I didn’t really know quite what to expect in going to this event. I had been raised all my life understanding a very specific way weddings should be, only seeing the “normal” wedding process on television or at the cinema. This was not too horribly different from what I had seen in these mediums. What I was unprepared for was the very real level of excitement and emotion that accompanied this wedding process. I was also very unprepared for the people.
It’s amazing how an open bar and good friends can make good friends of one another all at the same time! I had the joy of meeting close family and friends of the bride and groom, all of who I had never met before. I understood that night, after meeting other people my friend was close to, why we worked so well as friends. In a way it was a moment of validation after seeing the type people my friend associates with. But, it was also a moment of excitement, having the opportunity to meet other great people who I could talk the night away with.
Tonight was no different. I walked into a completely unfamiliar situation, surrounded by people I’d never met or maybe, possibly run into at some point for five seconds. For a small period of time an older version of myself prevailed and I stood alone, awkward and unsure of myself, half tempted to leave out of the fear of being an outcast. It’s unsettling how easily that impulse comes. But after years of secluding myself from the world and shying away from the unfamiliar and unknown, it seems like the only thing I know at times.
After a moment of standing there awkwardly, I braced myself somewhat and walked up to woman who I thought I had met at some point and asked, “Are you a friend of Kresta’s?” She said, “Well I would like to think so!” so I introduced myself, explained that I was completely lost and didn’t know a soul. She promptly sat me down with some of the most delightful people, with whom I spent the remainder of the evening.
I met some of people my friend Kresta and her girlfriend know and again, I understood why we worked so well. I met one of her longest standing friends who had come to Salt Lake City from California with her partner of 9 years. We got to talk about the more dull parts of life like jobs and the like and delved down into more fascinating topics like maintaining a same-sex relationship with children. I also got to meet some fun gay guys around my age which is always interesting as it seems like there would be less than there are here in Utah. There are quite a few actually and after three years of being out, it still is fascinating to meet new people and see how wide and varied the gay population along with how valid and real it is.
As someone who has always openly declared their dislike of weddings, receptions and the like, I will openly declare myself wrong and happier for it. I enjoy these moments where I get to meet the people who are close to the ones I love. It gives me a chance to make new connections and see more of who else is out there all with the added benefit having them pre-screened in a way though a mutual friend. It also gives me a chance to celebrate with the people I care about and be happy for them and with them in a way that we don’t always allow ourselves, or more specifically, in a way I do not always allow myself. I guess there is a reason why humans have gathered together to celebrate in groups for thousands of years. It was just harder to see that when I cloistered myself away from the world out of anxiety and fear.