It was a beautiful day today. There was a small rainstorm, following up from the torrents the night before and the air was cool and crisp. Unfortunately I was not able to savor most of it as I finished up the process of moving all my shit I’m the early hours of the morning. I say ‘shit’ because I mean it.
Last time I moved I took a good month or so and completely organized everything. Every object had a home or a box or some very logical place where it lives… Or so I thought. The truth is never such a simple affair. In spite of the dramatic and disturbing attempts at total control exhibited through my OCD, there was shit scattered from hell to breakfast. This very handily put me at the very absolute end of my timetable to move, so I slept most of the day.
This evening, however, I had finally rested and was able to venture forth to get a bite to eat and suddenly I felt like I was home. I walked out the front door of my home and my neighboorhood fell into a reassuring and comfortable view in my mind’s eye. I was parked on the street, which is a mind-bending concept after having parked in parking structures for three years. And there was a bracing chill in the air which is the herald of my favorite season, autumn.
Autumn always makes my world feel right. There is a nostalgia and timelessness about it in my head. Things seem so much clearer and my heart seems more open to the world around me. It’s a little early to be singing all the praises of autumn, but I’ve had a small glimpse of it and I feel much more at ease with many of the recent changes than I normally would.
For instance, my new home has been a source of some anxiety and trepidation in recent days, especially now that I live in it. But there is something that is irresistably charming about the image in my head of my little brick home, framed by golden leaves and ornamented with a hearty pumpkin or two and a festive wreath on the door. I look forward to making that happen! If that isn’t the most incredibly gay thing I’ve ever said, I don’t know what is… Well I could think of a couple but I’m trying to keep this post PG-rated.
I think a lot of people probably see fall as a time of winding down or of still and quiet before the storms of winter. But for me, I see it as a time of exciting change, personal rejuvination, and right-ness in the world.