I have music piped all through my home, all interconnected to my computer so that it can follow me wherever I go. I serve it up to any room(s) I choose and I can even control it from my phone. I think that its probably one of the technological marvels in my life I appreciate the most. Yet I am still left in silence when I don’t turn anything on…
One of the major reasons I have an iPhone is because it gives me something to listen to pretty much anywhere I am, but for some reason when I’m home I forget. I love music to death but I think my ADD is a major contributor to this problem. I will be running from project to project and forget to put something on in between. Or I will stop and hear the silence when I’m doing things but I can’t bring myself to sacrifice the tenuous grasp I have on my current train of thought to do something about it.
Music is helpful to me in many ways. It helps me keep time, subconsciously as I go through each album. When I clean I like something with a beat to keep me motivated and active, something I can bounce to while I do the laundry like Kaskade [iTunes]. I like songs that I can dance to while I dodge the Roomba and wash the dishes like Bitter:Sweet [iTunes]. In fact, I listen something with a beat pretty much all the time. It keeps me going and gives me something I can latch on to without thinking too hard about the lyrics.
But, there are times when I don’t want clubby thumps, martini-bar cool riffs, or even my indie rock, but something a little introspective. Something that is simple yet kind of complex depending on how much I have running through my head. In these moments I turn to albums from Sigur Rös [iTunes], Hurricane [iTunes], or even some BT [iTunes]. Definitely not music for everyone. Other albums from roughly the same line are a bit too far out there for me such as Brian Eno’s Music for Airports.
In a way I think of it like arranging the score for my life. I’m not in full swing at every moment. Sometimes there are quiet scenes where I’m sitting there staring into the corner thinking over something trivial/important and I want music that sounds like I’m having the epiphany I’m hoping for. Other times I may be sad or discouraged and I’ll want something soulful that I’m not going to over-analyze, tinged with hope or a smattering of brightness or calm. I feed off my music and it’s like an appendage or some external lobe of my brain that my emotions key into.
I learned long ago, and I seem to re-learn from time to time that I have to be careful when picking my music. I have found that I can amplify melancholy, anger, or despair just as much as I can excitement, happiness, or playfulness. But just as much as I can amplify a bad mood, I can undermine it with some peppy music as well. So as much as I arrange the score for my life, I can also play mechanic using the sounds to help keep things in check.
I just have thought about this today. I came home from work with the intention of reading and have only been able to do so fitfully. When reading, it seems that silence is exactly what I need so I can become fully engrossed in the story. But after thinking about it, I realized that with nothing better going on, I sit in silence at home more than I realize. There is a lot of silence in my home as that is one of the dangers of living alone, but when I remember or have the attention span to take action I fill my space with the sounds that help me just be.