So I recently had a mind-blowing experience watching television. It was not some amazing exposé by Barbara Walters on the dangers of leaving your home or the imminent death awaiting those cavalier people who drink from restaurant cups. It was a commercial. A commercial for what is probably the most anachronistic, disturbing product I have seen hit the mainstream in years.
This product is called “Snuggie” and it looks neither snug nor cute enough to warrant an ‘ie’ in place of a ‘y’.
I watched, in morbid fascination and horror, the models in the commercial ambling around their fictional homes, yards and public spaces in the modern microfleece equivalent of a monk’s robe. We are living in the first decade of the 21st century–the era of palm-sized supercomputers, nanotextiles, and the ubiquity of the Internet–and some jackass has figured out a way to market the closest modern equivalent to 14th century utilitarian sackcloth poncho.
I’m more than just a bit disturbed not only by the appearance, but by the fact that someone decided to market it and that people decided to buy it. I’m far from what most rational people would consider a slave to fashion, but the line must be drawn here and no farther. It’s not morally, socially or culturally acceptable for anyone to wear shapeless, brightly colored, microfleece parachutes. I don’t care how warm or comfortable they are purported to be, people who wear these look like they are just dying to get in line to drink the Kool-aid at the latest founders gathering down on the compound.
Now if you will excuse me I need to go finish barfing up the last miniscule shred of hope I had for human dignity.