Party A to Party B: “Hey there, I’m going to sit with you and you can show me everything you do…”
Observer C: “That won’t take long.”

A very drunk, beautiful man talking to a man he is swapping spit with pulls away for a moment and says very seriously:

I had a salad on my way home from work.

And he went back to sucking on the other man’s neck.

While walking into my local pâtisserie a small family was leaving the building. The older of the two kids, a boy about four years old, had an astute observation to share with the world.

“It smells like PEE out here!”

And so it did.

After commenting on how useless my own life can be I overhear a woman in her late twenties or early thirties at another table say in their conversation:

“Well, I’ve spent my entire life trying to please my mother!”

A retraction of my own comments was made.

While looking at a book on the subject of grieving over pets I hear a couple make the following exchange:

Woman: This is just the thing we need if we were to kill Alice’s cats and then we could give it to her.

Man: Hmmm, that would work.