People need to feel wanted and appreciated. I think it’s one of those things we don’t give much thought to until we find ourselves standing in strange places in our lives wondering if people really do take notice. I’ve recently found myself in this stituation and the first question I have to ask is if I’m doing a good job of showing genuine interest and participating in my friend’s lives? I’d like to say I do, but then again it’s hard to gauge that as everyone, including myself, naturally see things from their perspective which can be somewhat skewed. All I can really do is try my best and communicate clearly with them to make sure we are on the same page. What do we expect from the relationship, what do we want out of it, what are the expectations of the other party?
I had a couple of these conversations over the weekend and they are anything but easy. It’s so hard sometimes to be frank with others, let alone ourselves, when it comes to sensitive issues like these. It’s worth it though, in the end, because it helps to forge a better friendship. It’s so funny that open communication about intentions and relationships is so much harder than openly sharing embarassing stories or heartfelt moments with the people in our lives.
We all seek out companionship on so many levels because it’s in our nature as social creatures. We look for it close-knit families, religious congregations, familiar haunts where “everybody knows their name”, dating and long-lasting intimate relationships. But what is the value of these interactions without knowing the true percieved worth people place in you and what you also contribute to the mix? That’s hard to say as we generally have to rely on the subliminal signals we get from people we interact with. Ambiguity is far from reassuring so sometimes it’s best to just check in. I plan to be much better about letting the people close to me in my life know how I feel through actions and words. Hopefully it will catch on and make it easier for everyone!
